Twitter: You Have no Idea What You're Missing!

57

By darntoothysam

This guy is a twit he doesn't tweet!

If my competition had a clue, they wouldn't do what they do! I'm not here to tell you what they are doing wrong or why, or what we do right and how. I'm here to GLOAT and rub my hands together thinking about the day when my plan for Total World Domination is complete! Muahahahahaahaa!

What am I talking about? The hottest topic today (in my mind anyway, and what else matters other than what I think?) is Search Engine Optimization and Social Media or Web 2.0 as some call it.

(By the way... this article is written tongue in cheek ok, so please take it that way!)

Ok where was I... Oh yes, Total World Domination! Muahahahahaaha!

So I just figured out that I should try to find an application to be able to wrap my brain around Twitter and try to actually use it. I found a recommendation for Tweetdeck and downloaded it and fired it up... WOW!! Twitter is actually useable and makes sense! Now that I have Tweetdeck, my takeover of Twitter has begun. Twitter has a PR of 9 and an Alexa of 25! A 25 for a site that allows you to type a few characters and send them to people! Holy moly!

Did you know that Twitter can eat away hours of your day? It's pretty dang fun searching and tweeting and wasting time. Focus Daniel-san, focus! Heck, I'm having a hard time just writing this hub about Twitter while watching a video about Twitter tools and wondering what people are tweeting right now at 2:42am on Twitter!

So what can you do for your business on Twitter?

One of the best examples I can think of was a small pizza joint that stopped adding their ph# on their ads and instead put their twitter address! They send out coupons on Twitter to their followers and instantly get a bajillion orders! Think you can do something like that with your business? Why not??

I'm excited about Twitter and just yesterday I scratched my head and said "Whaaa?" I have 500 followers and I follow 500 people... how can I read what anybody posts and how can I get anything of value to my followers? Twitter is awful the way it is setup by default, you cannot use it if you do not use a secondary aplication to manage it.

Proof? I sent an @ message to somebody whom I have a very light business relationship (not certain that sounds right... I know who he is and he has helped me but I'm sure he has no idea who I am). Guess what happened, I sent him an @ on Twitter and he sent me one back within just a minute or so! He's following 25,000 people and he responded to me right away! WOW! Good luck seeing that message from your twitter.com page.

Oh man, what happened? I was just going to gloat about how I am on my way towards taking over the world starting with Twitter, and I ended up giving away some powerful tips to my competition... Oh wait, they are twits, actually they aren't twits because they aren't on Twitter. They're non-tweeterites or whatever, you know what I mean.

How do I know they aren't on Twitter? Because I have a search query on Twitter for 'digital camera' and they NEVER show up! Try me, test it out yourself. Mention 'digital camera' on Twitter and see if I don't send you a tweet! It won't be spam, it's not automated, it will be little old me sitting at my puter banging out 140 characters specifically for you. =)

I bet they aren't even on Hubpages trying to assist people with digital camera repair.

How do I know? .... Because they're twits of course!

* UPDATE! * Here is a great story that was (is) in the News links below regarding SEO and how people just don't understand it.

senator-kay-bailey-hutchinson-crash-course-on-seo

Enjoy!

Who's the real twit here?

  • Darntoothysam of course. What kind of name is that anyway?
  • The competition! When will they learn?
  • I am, I don't even know what Twitter is.
See results without voting

Comments: Fire Away!

AEvans profile image

AEvans Level 7 Commenter 24 months ago

Interesting and funny! I tweet too and I am still trying to understand the entire thing, lololo But ut is a lot of fun! :)

Submit a Comment
You Must Sign In To Comment

To comment on this Hub, you must sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages account.

Please wait working